Most of the stuff I write can be written off as subjective, but so is most of what you read and hear anywhere. I’ve commented before on my lament for “how to fix your life” articles. These are all over the internet. This morning I saw one on MSN titled “8 Ways to Prepare Your Young Child for a Grandparent’s Death”. I don’t have any kids, but wanted to see what kind of profound advice could be given on a heavy subject. Nope didn’t learn anything, everything in the article I’ve heard or read before. As you might expect this subject is a case by case basis.
Of course most “how to fix your life” articles always leave a way out for a case by case basis. Which begs me to ask, if even the writer knows there is no simple answer on some subjects why are they giving simple answers? We all need a pay check right? I just have to figure out how to leverage myself into writing generic baseless drivel.
My first offering here is actually pretty good advice in my own opinion.
You might be surprised to know that despite my strong feelings towards “The Man”, I’ve never been fired. Not saying it will never happen; somehow I’ve just always escaped the axe. To my credit, I get my work done, I produce, and I am punctual. Sometimes I think this really confuses “The Man” because they would be morons to think I am content, but yet still manage to get my work done in an efficient manner. Yet they don’t see me as a face of the company type person. When it comes to dressing for work, I do what I have to. If I dressed for the job I wanted, I would be wearing cargo shorts and a t-shirt to work.
Somehow though, I manage to make it through lay-offs. Honestly I don’t even feel fortunate about that. Two “The Man’s” ago they were laying people off and giving a decent severance package. I was hoping I would be one of the people, but alas it was not to be. Too productive, it’s a burden I carry.
While I don’t know anything about being let go, I am an expert on being around after someone else was. This is my anecdotal commentary on how to handle you after a co-worker is canned.
It still amazes me what people say loudly in a work environment. At the last lair, the VP and part owner of the company told a black co-worker “I live in a gated community; they don’t let your kind in there.” The co-worker laughed it off, I was impressed by his shrug it off attitude, but I was thinking how much of an idiot the VP was (and still is). I hear news stories all the time about lawsuits for comments that were less. And the VP is one of those people who if you spend a day with, you’ll probably have 10-15 comments that are offensive. Like his penchant for accusing any woman with short hair of being a lesbian. I am rambling and could write a whole article about that. My point for bringing that up is everyone knows we live in a litigation friendly society. Bosses aren’t supposed to talk about the terms of someone else’s termination, but they do. No it’s not illegal to talk about such matters, but it is stupid. Defamation of character suits anyone? I am not saying I agree with all of the litigation, just stating facts that lawsuits are everywhere.
Given this one would think that management of a company or organization would be cognizant that they needed to zip their lips and not make insults towards any present or former employees. Oh yes us worker bees need to zip our lips too no doubt. I say this all the time, but if someone sues me. They are not getting much. If they sue “The Man” they may not get rich, but they could probably yield a few steak dinners to heal their emotional distress.
So without anymore rambling, here are some tips on what to do after a co-worker has been fired:
1. Do not trash the co-worker
Even if the person was the worst co-worker ever, do not gloat if they get the axe. Maybe it was for just cause, but when you work in an at-will environment. When “The Man” decides to get rid of you it will also be for “just cause”. My first day at the YMCA, I was told to keep an eye on a co-worker and let my supervisor know if he did anything wrong. I went right up to Chris Stoy the co-worker I was supposed to watch and told him what I was told. Now that may not have been very smart as it could have been a test and it was my first day on the job. However, I never regretted the decision. Chris Stoy and I became friends and worked together that whole year, and a couple of summer camps. By the way, I never observed him doing anything out of line. The supervisor who wanted me to tattle started missing a lot of work due to illness. The same people she was plotting with to get rid of Chris Stoy, got rid of her. After her firing she was telling me how bad the Y was and how they didn’t treat people well. Asked me where the “Christian” was in YMCA. Now on a side note, the Y has politics just like any company. It was the only thing I hated about the Y. The job itself, I loved. Kind of one of those “yeah but you’re gonna deal with that anywhere you go things”, except the job was rewarding enough that when you were doing your job and not sitting in meetings, you forgot all about the crap.
Now Chris Stoy was qualified to be the supervisor (site director was the actual title), but there was still the element at work in the Y management that didn’t care for him. I’m not telling you anything he wouldn’t tell you himself. The same person, who was trying to get rid of him, eventually had her guns out for me too. Another reason why you don’t side with management when a co-worker is fired or being gunned for. The tables will probably turn at some point. Do not assume because “they like me” that you are immune. That is still management, and if it’s between them getting canned and you getting canned. Outside of running into someone of impeccable character, you will lose that battle of wills.
Here is something ironic, when the supervisor who was working with Y management was fired, guess who they put in charge? Me. I was technically Chris’ supervisor, but I knew he knew what he was doing. And he was a great help to me in my first stint in a leadership role.
Now, obviously there are cases where the co-worker is not going to be a Chris Stoy. Let’s face it, you hope they get fired. I’ve been in that situation too. However, you still do not trash the co-worker. Let them sink their own ship with management. An exception here is if they are doing something unethical or dishonest that could possibly implicate you if you stay quiet. Now when you leave the office and get around friends and family. Trash the co-worker all you want. You vent to them about your crap at work, and they can vent to you about their crap at work. This article is about when people are fired so let me once again get back on subject. My main point here is to fight the urge to have a gripe session with management about the recently fired co-worker. If you do they will feel like they can turn on the buddy face and covertly get information from you about other co-workers they want to fire, and possibly you.
2. Cut the cord
Unless you are really good friends outside of work with the recently canned, keep the contact to a bare minimum as they could just be pumping you for information to use against you. They could just be trying to get you to say something incriminating to bring other people down with them. If you’re not good friends with them, there is no reason to have this conversation. However, you even have to be careful with “friends”. From my estimation about life there are very few friends and even family you can bare your soul to and know that it won’t go any further than their ears.
3. No, I haven’t talked to them
Sometimes when “The Man” cans someone, “The Man” starts getting curious about how that person is getting along in post lair life. “The Man” might even play it off as concern when he or she asks “have you talked to “canned co-worker” lately?” Maybe you discovered that the co-worker is your soul mate and you just got engaged. Maybe you’re really good buddies and you’re going camping this weekend. This is none of “The Man’s” business. The canned co-worker no longer his or her concern, so do yourself a favor and just say “No I haven’t talked to them.” This is for a couple of reasons, number one you are denying “The Man’s” curiosity, and you remain mysterious. Remaining mysterious is a whole article too, but the less people at the lair know about your life outside of work, the better.
4. Don’t jump on the bandwagon
This could probably be a sub section of number 1, but number 1 is already pretty long. At the last lair, there was a lady I worked with who was upbeat most of the time and did good work. She wasn’t the most knowledgeable but did not shy away from problems. There was a point where she was missing a couple days of work a week due to health problems with her parents. In contrast the supervisor was missing a couple of days work a week himself due to illness. Naturally he needed to make an example of her, and they fired her. Right after the deed was done the supervisor and the operations manager called me over to let me know she was gone. I told them I kind of figured that when I saw her crying and packing up her stuff ten minutes earlier. The supervisor started telling me how bad of an employee she was. After listening to his spill, I simply said, “well I guess that was a decision you felt you had to make, but personally I did not have a problem with her.” True saying something like that could have made me an instant target. Keeping my mouth shut would have been better, but I knew my surroundings well. I worked there for three years after that. So picking your battles is obvious. They brought me into the situation by telling me how bad of an employee she was. I was letting them know that my backbone was present and accounted for, and that I wasn’t the person to come to for validation. The purpose of an employee is not to validate personnel decisions by management. Their validation will come over time if they made the right decision.
Recent Comments